Hazal’s work with couples is based in neuroscience and attachment theory research that reveals how partners can build solidity, trust, and lasting happiness.
The work is founded on the fact that we all want to be seen, heard, and understood — especially by those we love the most. Whether we struggle with small or big things, alienation from our spouse negatively affects our overall quality of life.
In working with Hazal, couples discover their real underlying reasons for alienation were due to very important but not yet addressed questions like: “Am I important to you?” “Do you care if I’m hurt?” “Do you accept me as I am?” or “Can I trust you?”
The way Hazal works helps you overcome reactive cycles and solve problems together. Instead of escalating reactive behavior, partners learn to mend rifts and open up emotionally to each other. They learn to effectively express their love, respect, and need for each other.
Spouses may have struggled with each other for years or decades. Like many, they may find it almost impossible to maintain high-quality love over the long term. So over time they increasingly react more negatively to each other. Due to unrepaired wounds, little things turn into big fights in irrational ways.
When emotional wounds are not healed, walls get formed between partners. Under the spell of the primitive brain, couples unknowingly lay the foundation for even more destructive patterns. Reactions like fighting, running away or freezing then become the perceived reality of their relationship.
Such reactive behavior is completely unconscious and automatic. These reactions operate under the radar, without our conscious awareness. But without the right insights and tools, the negative cycle will eventually block the ability of a couple to share mutual happiness.
The only way to change the cycle is to consciously see and recognize where these reactions actually originate from, to understand how they relate to our relationship modeling in the past, and to acquire and use new tools and methods to overcome them.
You are not destined to repeat negative relationship patterns for life. When we learn that our ongoing relationship pains actually have a long history, that they are the product of a relationship model encoded in the nervous system, the possibility of choice emerges.
Know that in the relationship you choose now, as an adult, you have the power to transform negative patterns that were wired into you earlier in life. Hazal helps you understand the mechanisms underlying human attachment and how it is formed in the nervous system — so you can transform reactive patterns and build a secure functioning relationship.
Brains are plastic. This is called neuroplasticity, or the ability to rewire neural circuits with the right corrective experiences. You can create new neural pathways and a positive new path together as a couple that promotes trust and freedom.
Loving, lasting change is possible.
Healing and Transformation Intensive
Hazal conducts an 18-hour intensive program to heal and transform your relationship. Ideally, couples take this over 3 full days in a row, or close to it. The intensive format is designed to provide adequate time and focus for partners to accomplish deeper work — and to gain effective communication tools and key information to make their relationship strong, stable, and authentic.
As part of the intensive program, Hazal gives couples step-by-step guidance to heal past wounds, mend resentments, establish safe emotional rapport with each other, and collaborate as a team on all matters. Psycho-educational training and restorative exercises help partners heal and reconnect with the best in themselves and each other.
Participants report that they get more in a few days in a Healing and Transformation Intensive with Hazal than from months or years of traditional marriage therapy! Her program offers a qualitative difference in learning how to resolve issues. The range and effectiveness of the tools you get are much broader than what standard couples therapy offers.
Follow-Up Integration Sessions
For ongoing help after taking the intensive program, Hazal provides follow-up sessions customized to suit the specific needs of each couple. This usually starts with 60 to 90-minute weekly sessions, then moves to bi-weekly sessions, ending with monthly sessions. Typically, the length of the work is between 4 and 8 months, depending on the specific needs of each couple.
Hazal’s follow-up work helps couples integrate and solidify the positive changes gained in their intensive program. They get guidance in mastering and applying the tools they acquired in the intensive into their daily lives — especially for overcoming recurring difficult situations.
This can include understanding and communicating emotional needs better, transforming negative mental beliefs, increasing capacity to recognize and repair upsets, operating more as a team, and soothing themselves and each other more effectively.
Couples continue to develop the ability to empathize, understand, and communicate with each other sincerely. In this way, they reinforce the foundations they laid for safety and connection. Equally important, they increase their play together and creative capacities in communication.