“There is something wrong with me!”

Depending upon the nature of the trauma and the age of the person, trauma doesn’t just impact the person’s physiology. It can also impact her sense of self.

This is where the deep negative stories and beliefs arise. As a result of attachment injuries, and in an attempt to re-gain a sense of control, make meaning of traumatic events, and to preserve the attachment relationship, the child develops negative beliefs about herself. Continue reading ““There is something wrong with me!””

Survival Responses, Depression and Anxiety

In the face of a traumatic event, the body will defend itself by producing a series of survival responses. We also call these animal defenses since these are healthy responses we share with all other animals.

These animalistic responses are an integral part or our survival instinct. They are: startle, orient, signal cry, fight, flight, and freeze.

If you watch animals in dangerous situations, you will see them using these defenses in order to survive. Continue reading “Survival Responses, Depression and Anxiety”


“When I don’t feel good about myself, my partner still sees the good in me. This is a bond I can trust.”

How is emotional trust formed? In a moment, a day, two months? By never being sad or getting angry? With perfect manners? To answer these questions, we must understand the relationship between stress and the building of trust.

Continue reading “Trust”

The Movement of Depression & Anxiety

Life is movement, energy in motion. Movement generates power. In nature, we see this in obvious and subtle ways. The dramatic power of ocean waves suddenly crashing against shoreline rocks. Succulents quietly forming intricate spiral patterns of geometrical movement as they slowly grow.

Trees encompass many patterns of energy. Branches reach out into space in unique curves, spirals, and bends. A squirrel runs and jumps along the branches like a circus performer. Water moves up and down inside the solid trunk of the tree. Light entering the leaves turns them red in the fall. As a seed sprouts, eventually to become a tree, we can see energy and movement playing out over time. Continue reading “The Movement of Depression & Anxiety”

Working with Couples

"A securely functioning love relationship is the elixir which brings us back home into our heart." — J. Grey

My approach in working with couples is informed by current neuroscience and attachment research as applied to how partners in intimate relationships can function securely and sustain lasting happiness and satisfaction. I like to bring embodiment and playfulness into the work. Continue reading “Working with Couples”

“Am I becoming an Individualist?”

The Principle CharacterAyşe, a woman in her early 40’s.

The SceneIn her bedroom, Ayşe is standing, wearing a night robe with hood and belt. The lighting makes it appear that she is in a spacesuit.

Ayşe’s Monologue:Spoken as if talking to an audience…

I have been fascinated with astronauts lately. I constantly watch space-walk videos. I admire their team spirit. I envy them when I see how they float with their hair pointing up, doing summersaults in the air. They look like joyous children inside disciplined adults. Continue reading ““Am I becoming an Individualist?””

Working with Individuals

"The heart is the sea, the tongue is the shore, whatever is in the sea, will strike to the shore." — Rumi

The essence of individual work is to come to better hear one’s own unique voice in relation to life. The work is a journey towards one’s deepest inner truth and being able to manifest it in the world.

The human being is a social entity. No matter how lonely, there is a world to which he or she is connected to. Continue reading “Working with Individuals”